contentment in all situations

"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without one, you'll never be enough with one." -- Irv, Cool Runnings

i can't run. and, let's be honest, it SUCKS.

i put months of hard work into preparing for the marathon. and i saw results. and i liked what i saw. starting my mornings with a run got me in the right frame of mind to start the day. burning off the extra calories made it a little easier to manage my weight which has always been a struggle for me. and i like winning. i like lining up at the start and looking beside me and wondering who's faster.

and now one little pain has sidelined me for far longer than i would have liked. thoughts of "how quickly am i going to lose my cardiovascular fitness?" "how slow will i be when i come back?" "how far will i be able to run?" "how much weight am i going to gain if/when i don't workout?" have been a constant plague.

and then it hit me like a ton of bricks -- i'm obsessing over something that i shouldn't be. i have let an earthly hobby dominate my thoughts and consume my actions.

God let me get injured for a reason. Probably to teach me that I am more than a runner. I am a child of the King. I am the Chief of Sinners. I am Redeemed. As long as I let myself be described as earthly things I am not fulfilling my heavenly calling, which is ultimately to bring glory to God. I have to put Him first and all other actions second.

Where is my contentment in all situations? God doesn't care if I can run 26.2 miles or am confined to a wheelchair. He doesn't care whether my weight is 1xx (no, i will NOT publicly post my weight) or whether I'm ten pounds heavier. Yes, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I need to use it to honor God, but when running (or thoughts about running) comes first and God comes second that is obviously not God honoring. He is much more concerned with my spiritual health and my spiritual growth than my physicality. I'm afraid I've been feeding my body carrots and my soul cheeseburgers.

A woman from my church once said "a true Christian should never struggle with self esteem." As women especially we tend to let society dictate our self esteem and our feelings of worth. Are we pretty enough or thin enough? It is so easy to get caught in the vanity trap when that is not at all what life should be about.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Peter 3:4 But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Philippians 4:4-13

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

¹⁰ I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

so, in this time off i will learn to be content. i will learn to be enough without it. and if i'm back at square one when i can run again so be it. God will still be God and i will not be.

side note: isn't running such a petty thing to get upset over? there are so many bigger problems in the world i should be ashamed to even admit that something as trite as running fast is even a concern.

Psalm 73:21-28

²¹ When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
²² I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

²³ Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
²⁴ You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

kale

kale is very popular right now as a superfood - it's touted as one of the most nutritious vegetables in the world.

i like experimenting with new foods so today i decided to give it a try (it caught my eye at BJ's when it was $1.99 for a large bag so if i didn't like it i wouldn't be out big money and it was already pre-chopped so i didn't really have to put in any effort).

Recipe 1: Smoothie -- blueberries, watermelon, kale

Recipe 2: Kale Chips -- tossed with olive oil and salt and baked for 20 minutes.

Conclusion: I definitely liked it and will be buying it again.

Next, i'm going to add it to a salad - but it may be a little too bitter to eat it raw by itself so i think whether or not i like it will depend on how well it blends with the other ingredients.

Life As I Know It

Memorial Day weekend I ran my first marathon in Vermont. It's only been 2.5 weeks but it feels like forever ago. haha.

Allison (thank God for friends who are willing to make a four hour drive with you) and I drove up on Saturday to pick up my number, enjoy the expo, and drive the race course. Though it was such a loopy and confusing course it took us almost as long to drive it as it did to run it and we didn't even end up driving the entire thing. The weather was rainy and disgusting so everything was flooded and then turned hot and humid.


i decided that it wouldn't matter whether i won or lost as long as i looked good so i bought an AMAZING orange shirt and wore zebra pre-wrap in my hair.







My fueling strategy: no pockets so i safety pinned the gu to my shorts (actually, Allison did it for me)

Race Notes:

• before the race i, as most runners do, had to go to the bathroom very badly. however, the bus we took to the race start got stuck in traffic so by the time we arrived the lines for the port-a-potties were super long. i panicked. nobody wants to run when their stomach hurts, nevertheless 26 miles. i pleaded my case to a girl at the front of the line who let me go. whew! thankfully, my stomach cooperated the rest of the day. within the first four miles of the race i saw numerous people stop on the side of the road to go to the bathroom (including a girl -- gross!).


• i don't really remember too much of the race - just kept putting one foot in front of the other over and over. i tried to pick people i thought were about my pace to kind of run with. i let some girl pace me for the first half but then she dropped off so i was on my own.


• the first 22 miles really weren't bad. however, then it heated up and i started getting tired. at mile 24 there was a 15 mph wind in my face with nobody to draft off of and i pretty much hated life. i swore i would never run again. at mile 25 somebody handed me a cup and as i got it to my lips i realized it was beer, not water and i was not happy.


• once i crossed the finish line i didn't feel horrible anymore, i was just tired. i couldn't really comprehend/compare my results and it was hard to get excited.
  
  

Post Race: not the best picture, but the foil blanket makes me an official marathoner.

some stats:

• official time: 3:15:06


• official results: 136th overall (out of 3600), 19th woman, 4th in my age group


• in the last six miles i passed 48 people and 2 passed me
  
  
  
  Post race pic with Allison. She is such a trooper - she had to stand the entire time I ran since there was no place to sit due to the rain. But, she did see me four or five times and took some good pictures.
  
  
  

Since I'm a nerd, I'll post my Garmin stats.

no trip to vermont would be complete without a trip to ben and jerry's!

DELICIOUS!!

The four hour drive home super sucked. So much worse than the drive up (side note: I didn't realize how close to Canada we were -- next time I'm taking my passport).

By the time we got back I was pretty positive my hip was broken it was so stiff. It didn't help that I didn't stretch post race cause the ground was soaking wet (but I did walk about three miles).

Lesson learned: next time stay overnight after the race if you go to one that isn't in your town.

But, once the pain wore off on Monday the runner's high set in.

Boston qualifying time is 3:40. My 3:15 not only qualifies me, it enables me to apply for early registration which guarantees me a spot. So, while I may never become a serious marathoner I will definitely be RUNNING BOSTON!!!!

In other news:

1. I have joined a run club at work. They meet Wednesdya mornings and do either a three mile loop or a five mile loop. They are recreational runners so there is no pressure- it is nice to just relax, jog along and socialize. Since I'm lazy I've neglected to get a BSC membership so I can't shower at work yet so I run to the office and then run home after (it's actually faster ro run than to drive).

2. July is ramping up to be a busy month but it is going to be super fun and I'm going to be seeing my family which I'm very excited about. The 11-14th I'll be in Ft. Wayne, Indianna for my very first go-live support. (side note: I'm going to be supporting a Collector Go-Live and am going to be all on my own -- there are others who are going to be in ft. wayne but they will be at other client sites -- eeeekkkk!!!). Most people aren't real thrilled about this assignment, but I will get to see Jon, Brooke, and Braden. WooHoo! Then, Megan is coming to Boston the 19-25th. We are going to go to Mt. Blue State Park in Maine and go camping for a couple days. They have swimming, hiking, biking, kayaking, etc. I haven't been camping since I moved to New England so I am thrilled. The weather should be much cooler than going in Texas and the landscaping will be gorgeous. I ordered a tent which excites me to no end. When Megan flys out on the 25th I'll fly to Ft. Wayne again. After supporting another go-live that week instead of flying back to Boston I'm going to fly to Dallas (thank you Athena for paying to fly you anywhere you want to go at the end of your trip) and stay July 28-August 2nd. I will be doing the Goatneck bike ride in Cleburne on July 30th with my parents. Yippee! My only concern is that it is June and I'm still wearing sweats and a hoodie here in Massachusetts. I'm slightly afraid of the heat in Texas, but I love to be hot so I should be okay.

3. Now that spring is upon us and summer is coming, I'm hoping to switch my food staple from soup to salad. My salad toppings vary depending on what i have on hand, but typical ingredients include: spinach, fruit (either apple, blueberry, or strawberry), beets, mushroom, pepper, edemame or tuna

4. my friend, amber, is a firm believer that you can locate anything you need to know on youtube. i will be testing her theory. i need to change my bike tire (a job previously done by my daddy) so i've bought the supplies but i don't have a clue what i'm doing. i'm pretty positive there is a video to show me how - i just need to find the one for dummies and not an advanced one. and, i really want to attempt to cook artichokes but am terrified of them. i'm hoping a chef has shared their knowledge with the world and can walk me through it step by step.

with the upcoming travels and such i should be taking more pictures so hopefully my posts won't be so few and far between. and if the weather ever becomes nice (i'm not holding my breath on this one) then i'll try to get out and take some pictures of spring here in new england. i'm loving that my new apartment is along the charles. it makes for much more scenic running than route 9 (and much safer!).

snack of the day

i'm a snacker. i could graze on food all day. add on to that the fact that i have a super sweet tooth and it becomes really easy to consume way too many calories. until popcorn entered my life. it's one of those things that since i've started eating it i've thought "why in the world didn't i think of this before?!?" allison is always popping some for mal and whitney. it is a great, easy (much easier than i thought -- i was seriously terrified of burning it), and inexpensive snack (much cheaper than organic granola bars). and, prepared properly you can keep the calories to a minimum. tonight i made cinnamon and sugar popcorn. i simply air popped some on the stove (read: no oil or butter means far fewer calories), sparyed it with pam and then tossed it with splenda and cinnamon. it is comparable to a snickerdoodle (just without all the fat and with added fiber). i'm pretty sure this may become a staple to reach for at work when i need something to munch on.

also, tonight i mixed red quinoa in with my brown rice. quinoa is a great source of protein (it's a complete protein at that) and balances the complex carbs in the rice well. score!

and since we're on the subject of food, my current favorite wrap to make is: ole extreme wellness tortilla, laughing cow light queso fresco and chipotle wedge, sabra supremely spicy hummus, turkey, and spinach (or coleslaw).

Maine

My first week at Athenahealth was spent in Maine at our Belfast office for onboarding. It was my first time in Maine and although it snowed (in April! I will never get used to New England) it was beautiful. My favorite part was the sign that read "watch for moose on the road".
Here are a few pictures that I took from the balcony of my hotel room (we didn't really get out and about or do touristy stuff so I don't have real great but these will do).

Memorial Day weekend I'll be in Vermont running the marathon and then I will have almost all of the New England states on my Garmin (I think I'll still be missing Connecticut).

st pats 5k

Okay, so i really need to blog about how AAMMAAZZIINNGG God is. Within the last couple weeks, in His perfect timing, He has provided me with a new job at Athenahealth (I start April 4th) and a new apartment in Newtonville (I move April 30th).
I have been incredibly blessed! But, it is a long story that I need to sit down and write/edit when I have a good amount of time to put some thought into it, which I don't right now.

So, in the meantime, I will post about running.
On Saturday, three church friends and I ran the St. Pat's 5K in Providence, Rhode Island.
I've run two half marathons with Allison and a 10K with Barbara but this is the first time we've all run in the same race.
It was COLD, WINDY, and HILLY (read: i was miserable) but it was nice to spend time with some good friends.
And, I beat my goal time of twenty minutes (don't ask me why I picked that number). I got third out of over eighteen hundred women (forty third out of all four thousand participants).

From left to right:
Amanda - 18:57
Allison - 25:33
Julie - 29:18
Barbara - 27:59

God's Perfection

for the sake of brevity (and since they can say it better than i can) i will cut out the commentary this time and simply plagiarize. it may help to read my previous post first.

God’s Perfect Way

“As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried: He is a buckler to all them that trust in Him” (2 Samuel 22:31).

This is the 30^th verse (out of 50) in David’s great “song of deliverance,” evidently considered by God to be of sufficient importance to have it included twice (2 Samuel 22 and Psalm 18) in His written word. Its testimony is greatly needed.

One of the most common excuses given by men for rejecting the God of the Bible is their opinion that His ways are unfair. Even Christians are prone to complain at the way God deals with them. But the fact that we may not understand God’s ways hardly gives us the right to pass judgment on them. He often reminds us in His word that His way is perfect and His word has been tried and proved, again and again. “For the word of the Lord is right; and all His works are done in truth” (Psalm 33:4). “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul” (Psalm 19:7).

We need to settle it in our hearts that, whether we understand them or not, God’s ways are always perfect. What He does is right, and whatever He says must be true by definition. His ways are always in the context of eternity, but we leap to judge in terms of present inconvenience.

His perfect way is seen most fully in Christ, and His truth is heard most clearly in Christ for, “I am the way,” He said, and I am “the truth” (John 14:6). Yet Christ’s way was through the cross, and His truth was opposed by the father of lies (John 8:44). God’s way for us may lead us into suffering and great opposition, but His way is always perfect and His way is tried and true. If we trust Him through it all He will be our buckler as He was for David. “Every word of God is pure: He is a shield unto htem that put their trust in Him (Proverbs 30:5). HMM

--My Daily Bread, December 6^th

The Secret is Acceptance

“I will put my trust in Him.” – Hebrews 2:13

Helen Roseveare was a British medical missionary in the Congo years ago during an uprising. Her faith was strong and her trust was confident, yet she was raped and assaulted and treated brutally. Commenting later, she said, “I must ask myself a question as if it came directly from the Lord. ‘Can you thank Me for trusting you with this experience even if I never tell you why?’”

What a profound thought. God has trusted each of us with our own set of unfair circumstances and unexplained experiences to deal with. Can we still trust in Him even if He never tells us why?

The secret to responsible trust is acceptance. Acceptance is taking from God’s hand absolutely anything He gives, looking into His face in trust and thanksgiving, knowing that the confinement of the hedge we’re in is good and for His glory.

--Perfect Trust, Charles Swindoll

Give God Your Worries

“Who among you that fears the Lord,… let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” – Isaiah 50:10

Let’s get six words clearly fixed in our minds. These six words form the foundation of God’s therapeutic process for all worrywarts.

WORRY ABOUT NOTHING

PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING

What qualifies as a worry? Anything that drains your tank of joy – something you cannot change, something you are not responsible for, something you are unable to control, something (or someone) that frightens and torments you, agitates you, keeps you awake when you should be asleep. All of that now needs to be switched from your worry list to your prayer list. Give each worry – one by one – to God… Tell Him you will no longer keep your anxiety to yourself…

The more you practice giving your mental burdens to the Lord, the more exciting it gets to see how God will handle the things that are impossible for you to do anything about.

--Laugh Again, Charles Swindoll